Meredith* decided it was time to switch things up in the bedroom after 15 years of marriage and brought in a vibrator. The most terrifying aspect was wondering how her spouse would respond.
I never experienced the rite of passage that comes with receiving your first sex toy. Not because I wasn’t interested, but rather because I’ve never dared to enter an adult store. The majority of my friends gifted me seductive lingerie at my bachelorette party. I was hoping for a joke gift of an enormous dildo, but that did not come to pass. The fact that my husband Tim* previously claimed that women only used sex toys because their men couldn’t take them off didn’t help either. During our five-year courtship and fifteen-year marriage, I rarely considered purchasing a sex toy online.
The fear that Tim might see it as a slight against his manhood was what always stopped me.
I had seen this gadget in Sex and the City, of course, but it didn’t seem right to purchase it for myself. Although her claim that she had experienced “the best orgasm of her life” intrigued me, I remained somewhat dubious. It wasn’t like I never experienced orgasms; in fact, most of them were positive. However, they occasionally felt like a lot of labor as well. I was convinced after she mentioned how quickly she had created a vibrator.
I virtually trailed the UPS guy to make sure Tim wasn’t the one receiving the delivery after placing my internet order for the Rabbit. (FYI: We have a comparable vibe in the Prevention Store called the Butterfly Kiss Vibrator; it comes in very covert packaging.) Tim wasn’t home when it arrived, so I ripped open the package. It wasn’t until I held it in my hands that I realized the purpose of the rabbit’s ears—direct clitoral stimulation. My pal wasn’t joking; it forced me to arrive quickly. The only thing left to figure out was how to tell Tim about my toy. (Get the big O sooner with these 9 hot new sex devices recommended by professionals.)
After our daughter left for college, I was at a loss for what to do with myself. There was more space in our lives for intimacy because Tim and I were spending so much more time together. The issue stemmed from my boredom. For what seemed like an eternity, we had been having sex in the same positions, in our bed, at essentially the same times, once or twice a week. One of my buddies told me about her friend, the Rabbit when I finally worked up the courage to discuss this with her.
When he got home that evening, I poured us some wine, served supper outside on our private patio, and we started talking about sex. I said that I had learned about the Rabbit from a friend.
What would you think if I did something similar, I asked. before he could respond. After giving it some thought, Tim remarked, “I guess if that’s what you need.”
I told him that I wanted to try something different, not because I needed it. I showed it to my friend who was running on batteries. I was surprised he didn’t become angry. We had our first sex session in the backyard as a result of all that discourse about sex. Tim said that when he arrived, we should go inside and “try my toy.”
I was excited, but I was also a little nervous about showing Tim how easily I could get an orgasm from the rabbit. I did not wish to bruise his pride. However, as it happened, the opposite resulted. We tried incorporating the item into our routine that night and for a few nights thereafter. Initially, we just used it at the very end, during my orgasmic moment. However, we soon experimented with other things, such as introducing it into foreplay, which made me much more attracted to him throughout our sexual encounters. We even tried using it while Tim was within me, which is how I experienced my first orgasm during sex.
I’m glad to report that I completely misjudged my husband’s resilience in the face of a silicone bunny rabbit. Ultimately, my only regret was not trying it sooner because it was so much fun.
When we discussed it a few weeks later, Tim said that at first, he wasn’t sure why he was bringing a “battery-operated device” into our bedroom, but he soon changed his mind after realizing how much pleasure it brought. He said that anything that increases your desire for sex is a benefit.
