Over time, relationships can be destroyed by little poor practices. When you ask individuals what breaks up a relationship, they may respond with lies, money, or cheating. That is accurate, too. However, similar to the phrase “death by a thousand paper cuts,” there are other subtle daily routines that also destroy relationships.
Thousands of partnerships have passed before my eyes over roughly thirty years. My current research, which has been supported by the National Institutes of Health since 1986, enables me to thoroughly examine important trends in romance, relationships, marriage, and divorce over an extended period.
For now, I can say with certainty that small things count a great deal. Every couple, regardless of background, should pay close attention to the most common yet little-discussed relationship killers to build a genuinely happy and healthy partnership.
These are the top five habits that ruin relationships that are often ignored, along with fixes for them. (The new Younger In 8 Weeks plan from Prevention will help you lose up to 25 pounds in two months and look more gorgeous than ever!) took place when I was there.
Assuming you know each other
- After several years of dating, long-term partners may feel as though they know everything about one another. They stopped getting to know each other better and asked each other more questions than when they first started dating.
This kind of indifference can be fatal. This is known to me as “silent dining syndrome. After going out to a restaurant together, couples keep quiet. Solution: For a relationship to endure, partners must speak with each other for at least ten minutes each day about topics other than their relationship, the house, their children, or their jobs. - Just like when you initially started dating, ask each other questions! A side effect of getting to know each other once more is a rise in excitement and passion.
Waiting for special occasions to express love
- A common error made by couples is to put off showing one other their affection until special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, or Hallmark-style holidays.
- My research has shown, among other important conclusions, that husbands who do not receive frequent affective affirmation—that is, words, actions, or gestures from their wives that convey to them that they love and notice him—are twice as likely to file for divorce.
- Solution: Consistently express your partner’s value and attention by doing or saying something. Sometimes all it takes to make a spouse feel loved and valued is a final kiss on the cheek or a kind remark.
Skipping me-time
- Many couples claim that the main reason their affair persisted was that they gave one other lot of space or time to themselves.
- Spending time apart allows partners to reflect, engage in hobbies, and come up with fresh conversation subjects! While having too much space or a protracted separation is never a healthy thing, couples who seek their interests, hobbies, and friends are generally happier than those who rely solely on one another.
- Solution: Discuss with your partner the advantages of having some alone time, but also make it clear that you still want to see them occasionally. Don’t hide anything from your partner; instead, tell them about the amusing or enjoyable things that
Seeing the glass half-empty
- Many couples only discuss the negative aspects of their relationship. They wind up dwelling on the bad parts of their liaison.
- Couples in my study who focus on the positive aspects of life, or seeing the glass half full, also end up being significantly happier in the long run than those who only attempt to “fix” their difficulties.
- Solution: Write down the top five things about your relationship that are working well, then focus on enhancing those areas. By concentrating on the positive aspects of the affair, you both become more motivated to advance in that relationship. An upbeat attitude will also benefit your relationship and draw you toward people who view the world as half full.
Staying mum about “minor” annoyances
- Many couples choose to ignore minor irritations and pet peeves. However, over time, these minor annoyances might mount up and force an affair into suspension.
- If ignored, it’s the minor annoyances that add up over time. They later grow to be significant issues in affairs.
- Solution: Despite what the general public believes, couples who want to be happy and together in the long run need to worry about the little things in their relationship. Productively discuss the irritations by choosing the appropriate moment and circumstance, putting an end to all other distractions, using your “I” statements, and avoiding the terms never and always.
It’s critical to realize that over time, poor habits can sabotage relationships. You can maintain a long-term happy, healthy relationship by fixing the five most common relationship killers with easy fixes.
