There’s a popular perception that older people lose interest in sex. Not true. Studies show that people maintain active sex lives well into their later years. For example, one recent survey found that more than half of men and almost a third of women over the age of 70 reported they were still sexually active. To prove that sexuality is alive (and lively) as we age, we turned to some of the most illuminating posts by Huff/Post 50’s bloggers about what sex after 50 is really like.
1. Sex between older women and younger men is no longer taboo.
“There are only plusses to dating younger men in my book. They generally have hair and smell nice. They know what they are going to wear and are still interested in looking good. They keep you on your toes and make you feel sexy, which makes you make an effort.”
2. But men over 50 are, often, better in bed than younger men.
“A man 50 years and older is not in a hurry. He wants to please you, and takes great pleasure in making sure that happens. He also knows there is a lot more to do in the bedroom than just regular intercourse.”
3. Even so, women — including those over 50 — don’t need a man in their lives at any cost.
“I was in a relationship with a handsome, professional man who shared many of my interests. But, I’d not been paying good and close attention to what was going on with me. What was I really doing? As I sat there listening to [my lover] and hearing his questioning of my feelings and desires, I realized I’d made a mistake — a big one. I’d been behaving like a teenager — infatuated, excited, intense, but also self-ignoring and silly.”
4. You CAN reclaim passion out of boredom in a very long marriage.
“Whenever [my wife] or I want to connect — talk, cuddle or whatever — we make time for it right then, even if it’s brief or to at least say that’s what we want. Sending the clear message that your partner comes first goes a long way to relighting the fires of passion, and builds a solid foundation for everything else that comes along.”
5. Married or single, physical attraction is just as important for those over 50 as it was at 20.
“I am of the (minority) opinion that if there is attraction, if there is a level of trust — it doesn’t have to be absolute (was it in your marriage?) — and if there’s no reason to believe one of you is a serial killer (there really aren’t too many over 50), then, Do It! And do it sooner rather than later.”
6. Soft penises are underrated.
“The number one myth of a soft cock is that the man is not feeling desire. This is simply not true. There are many reasons why a man has a limp penis before or during sexual activity that have nothing to do with his desire for you. So please do not take it as an indicator that your lover doesn’t want you. It’s sad that in our society we have been trained to believe that the sign of desire in a man is an erection. Dump that myth.”
7. Boomer dating requires a fair amount of courage.
“So why date online and risk rejection? Online dating works for too many boomers not to consider it viable. After dozens of coffee dates with women I met online, I finally met my partner. Courage, determination, and stamina paid off.”
8. Friends with benefits are STILL fun.
“We went at it like rabbits for a few weeks. Then I left. He was never a contender for a long-term relationship. He was intelligent, witty, enthusiastic and physically very appealing, but we lived vastly different lifestyles. At my age, I have no interest in being with someone I’m not crazy about just so that I don’t have to be alone. I chose pretty, and I’m glad I did.”
9. Grownups play with sex toys — a lot.
“Our hormonally challenged bodies may need extra help to reach orgasm these days, and our wrists may tire before we reach our goal. Women: try a clitoral vibrator, with or without a dildo, depending whether you like the feeling of a full vagina. Men: try a sleeve, cock ring, or prostate stimulator.”
10. Tinder isn’t just for kids.
“Tinder is like the old days. You’re at a bar and it’s strictly gut instinct. You swipe them to the left or you swipe them to the right — considered or not.”
11. Boudoir photo shoots aren’t just for 20-somethings.
“The shoot was a gift to myself to celebrate my experience as a woman who has lived long enough to own her sexuality, with or without a partner. I would encourage any woman to do a boudoir shoot at least once in her life, especially when she’s past her supposed expiration date, so she realizes she’s anything but.”
12. No matter what your age, you have the power to dramatically boost your sex life.
“Cross off items on your sexual bucket list. Younger men? A threesome? Tying up or tying down? Going to a sex club? As long as no one gets hurt, seize the day!”