Human sexuality encompasses a wide, wide range of interests and experiences, and at no time in history have we had better access to what gets other people off. If you’re mildly interested in something sexual that might seem taboo or just downright weird (like these 5 “unusual” sex acts that are more way more normal than you think), a quick Google search can open you up to a whole world of people who share your desires.
While just about any kind of sex between consenting adults is “normal”—as long as everyone involved is comfortable with what’s happening—there are some interests and kinks that raise the eyebrows of even the most open-minded. We asked 6 sex therapists to reveal the wackiest things they’ve heard about in the bedroom, and they didn’t hold back. (Lose up to 25 pounds in 2 months—and look more radiant than ever—with Prevention’s new Younger In 8 Weeks plan!)
- “A client in his 30s who worked overnight in a hospital came to me because he was having fantasies of women in the morgue that made him uncomfortable. When the video for Tom Petty’s ‘Last Dance With Mary Jane’ came out, he said it was like porn for him.
- His fantasies became more intense and he was feeling like it was getting harder to not act on them. We did some work around the nature of the fantasies and addressing the feelings of compulsivity that were emerging, as well as some other psychodynamic work. But the obsessive thoughts and fantasies remained, as did his fear of acting on them.
- They ended up having a favorite fantasy that she enjoyed as much as him: It involved her lying in a bathtub of ice water for about 10 minutes, getting her skin cold and tight. She would then put on white makeup and lipstick, and lay down on a padded table, perfectly still. He would then come in as the ‘undertaker’s assistant,’ and I’m sure you can guess the rest… He stopped worrying about acting out his fantasies with real corpses anymore and their relationship went to new levels in how they communicated and explored fantasy play together.”
- I ultimately encouraged him to take the risk of sharing his fantasies with his girlfriend. She was a bit put off at first, but as they talked and shared more, she started to see it in a different light. I helped them set up fantasy scenarios that they would both enjoy, in a realm I never thought I would enter. (Here are 7 more pieces of advice from sex therapists you should know.)
Doing it doggy-style
- “I knew a man who liked to dress up like a dog with his partner and act out a role play scenario with her being his master and he being a ‘good doggie.’ He also loved doing this at public events when appropriate and sex positive. He somehow found a girl very interested in this fetish. She had a lot of fun telling him to roll over and petting his tummy, I hear.”
Stick what, where?
- “I am a sex therapist who specializes in working with clients who identify as kinky and non-monogamous. One popular, but taboo (even in some kink circles) practice is known as needle play. This literally involves one person piercing a partner with one or multiple needles. There are even pictures of people who will have someone make ‘needle corsets’ down their back.
- Of course, if you’re interested in this type of play it’s important to learn about appropriate safety procedures.”
Getting freaky with Fido
- It wasn’t the first case concerning bestiality I had encountered, so that didn’t concern me as much as the fact that she didn’t know the answer, which, of course, is that nobody should ever do anything sexual that they don’t want to do! After talking this over, I’m happy to say that she came to her senses and realized that no matter how much her husband wheedled her, she had the right to say no to sex with Fido.”
- “A woman called me to say that her husband wanted her to do something ‘unusual,’ but she couldn’t get the words out over the phone. All she could say was that she loved her husband and wanted to make him happy, but she didn’t know if she could fulfill his request. When she came into the office, she gave me a lot of background about who he was—a high level executive, a former star athlete, blah, blah, blah. After all of that, she finally blurted, ‘But he wants me to have sex with the family dog. I don’t have to do that, do I?’
Wasting the day away
- “I’ve seen some men who watch 10 to 15 hours of pornography a day. This threw me for a loop, as I was wondering how in the heck do these people work and pay bills? (Here’s what happened when one man finally went to rehab for his technology addiction.) It’s pretty unusual to be so addicted to porn that you spend that much time on it. These men weren’t functioning well at all and had a skewed sense of reality.”
Foot fetish gone too far
- “I worked with a 40-something, heterosexual couple that initiated treatment because the male partner presented with a compulsive foot fetish in which he had great difficulty controlling his preoccupation with feet (usually his wife’s). At the peak intensity of his compulsive behavior, he became so aroused that during family movie night when his wife’s feet were ‘un-socked’ that he began to masturbate behind a pillow. In my world, compulsive sexuality is very commonplace, but it’s typically ridden with so much shame and guilt it is rare for someone to exhibit these behaviors in front of close family and friends.” (Here are 9 secrets every sex therapist knows—and you should, too.)