What Older Men Need to Know About Sex

Key Point

Aging can bring about a flood of changes. Some changes are good, and then other changes aren’t too favorable. Unfortunately, sex may fall into this category. As we age, sex may bring on more complications and more frustration. For men particularly, one major obstacle many have to overcome is erectile dysfunction (ED). Men who are 75 or older have a 77.5 percent chance of developing ED.

Why Does Sex Change as Men Get Older?

The fact is, as we age, we experience a decline in a few particular hormones. Declining testosterone, for instance, is a natural process that many men experience. Although researchers haven’t determined the precise connection, low testosterone levels have been associated with low libido. However, we’ve also noticed that this underlying issue can be affected by other factors. For example, alcohol abuse, emotional and mental stress, and depression all have negative effects on testosterone levels.

Aging also comes with the risk of developing other conditions that may lead to testosterone problems, such as thyroid gland disorders. The thyroid gland plays an important part in the production of testosterone, and certain disorders can disrupt its function.

Some men might develop circulatory issues, which can also present a problem. For one, blood gives each part of the body a dose of nutrients and vitamins. These are essential for proper functioning, and this may begin to fail with blood circulation issues. Keep in mind that blood circulation, as well as strong and healthy blood vessels in the penis, is vital for strong erections.

If you are taking medication, some of these could harm testosterone levels and libido as well. It is important to find out about possible side effects associated with the medication that you are taking. These could be anything from antidepressants to medication for diabetes. Your doctor could have suggestions that may offset possible side effects or offer an alternative solution.

What Changes During Sex?

These many complications of aging can ultimately affect how you perform in bed. For one, you might begin to experience shorter and, sometimes, less satisfying orgasms. A weak ejaculation and noticeably low seminal fluid may be present. Younger men, tend to not need a long time to achieve another erection after ejaculation, but older men may have this issue.

Some men might also need a lot more stimulation before he is ready to participate in sexual activity. There may be a drop in confidence and in libido, which could negatively affect desire. It’s possible to start with a relatively strong erection but lose it in the middle of a session.

Aging comes with many changes for a man, and we believe it is important to keep up with all of them. You should talk to a physician about some of these changes and how he or she can help reduce them. It could be as simple as making a few diet changes or changing a prescription. But if you continue to struggle with erectile dysfunction, we have a solution for you.

8 Ways Sex Can Be Different With An Older

Sex is a completely different experience with every person you have it with, which is what makes it so exciting every time you start to date someone new. Your sexual experiences will (probably) always vary, but one thing I have discovered over the years is true for me, even though I used to believe it to be a complete myth: Sex with an older partner has always been more enjoyable than with a person my age. I didn’t set out on a mission to prove this to anyone. That’s just the way it happened.

I haven’t always dated older guys, but in the last few years of my life, I’ve fallen into relationships with people who are a bit older. I’ve been dating my current partner for two and a half years, and we are 17 years apart. My boyfriend before him was a decade older. In between the two I casually dated guys who had a few extra years on me. I’m here to say that some of these guys gave me some of the most amazing, unforgettable sex experiences of my life.

It was actually with my first older boyfriend that I experienced my first orgasm during a sexual encounter, and after that, I experienced it with most older guys. This wasn’t because I was selecting guys who were exceptionally skilled at knocking boots; rather, it was just that these guys had more experience.

This might not be true for all guys who are a little older — and I can’t speak for whether the same is true for older women — but it has certainly been the case for me the majority of the time. Here are eight ways sex is different with an older partner, from my own experience.

1. They Know More About The Female Body

Simply acknowledge it. Finding a guy in his early 20s who is aware of the true workings of a woman’s body is difficult. They are still searching for the elusive clitoris, after all. Furthermore, they are unaware of how sensitive it is until they eventually locate it. You try telling them that it has twice as many sensory nerve endings as a penis, but good luck with that. A man who has had several more years of experience has seen firsthand how the female reacts to various touches and stimuli.

He’s probably realized over time that a woman can be aroused in countless ways—the clit and breasts are just the beginning.

2. They’re Not As Preoccupied With The Result

When I was younger, most of the guys I had sex with were interested only in climaxing. Their focus remained on orgasm because they were unfamiliar with the concept of sex, which is completely normal and understandable. But the first time I fooled around with my partner, I was taken to a whole new world. There was so much more involved than just crossing the finish line. We fiddled with location, changed up the sex roles, and all in all had fun with the whole performance. Though that was only a small portion of it, the ending was also fantastic.

3 . They Understand The Importance Of Foreplay

Foreplay is important and involves more than just getting ready for bed. You touch, kiss, and caress in all different places to maintain a connection with the person you are currently seeing, even if they are merely your overnight companion. Psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a professor at New York University, stated to WebMD that “it takes a woman a longer time [than a man] to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm,” making effective foreplay essential for females.

To prepare for the main event, we need a few more minutes. This is a lesson that most guys eventually pick up. They don’t only get it when they’re first starting.

4. They Don’t Take It So Seriously

Younger guys, in my opinion, take sex far too seriously. I think the porn culture is to blame, though there may be other factors as well. We’re used to seeing guys trying their hardest to please their very vocal partners while wearing a serious, wannabe guy expression on their faces. Men take this to heart and attempt to mimic it because it’s easy to forget that porn is typically nothing more than a performance.

However, older guys have had enough sex to understand that plans don’t always work out and that sex can be dumb at times. There are moments when you lose your balance, knock your heads together, or slam your elbow against the bed frame. Laughing it off is the best response to these hiccups instead of apologizing profusely and trying to make up for it.

5. They’re More Sexually Curious

I’m sure you could have predicted this one. Although this isn’t always the case, older boyfriends tend to be more inquisitive in the bedroom. It is logical. They need to spice things up to keep things interesting because they’ve been having sex for ten more years than you have. You name it: role-playing, S&M situations, threesomes, etc., and they’ll probably at least think about it before responding.

6. They Speak Up About What They Like And Don’t Like

They’re not too shy to be honest about what they want in bed because they’re a little older and more self-assured. It’s precisely this kind of candor that keeps your sexual life exciting and dynamic. The guessing game, which can wear you down over time and make you doubt your abilities, is abandoned by no one.

7. They want to know what you like and don’t like, too.

I was shocked to learn that my older boyfriend had asked me directly what kind of foreplay I preferred. I’d never been asked that question by a guy. I had never really sat down and thought about it, so I was on the verge of not knowing how to respond. An older partner is more likely to have developed effective communication skills and to understand the significance of sex. Your climaxes will benefit from it.

8. They understand that good sex isn’t only about what happens in the bedroom.

The true power of sexual relations extends beyond the bedroom. The whole sex experience is enhanced by what occurs before and after, and older partners excel at making those moments just as important. For instance, they’ll probably take you out to a fancy dinner, light some candles before you undress, and play some seductive music, and who knows, they might even prepare you breakfast the following morning (do you recall Carrie’s boyfriend Aleksandr from Sex and the City’s sixth season?). Sex is made even more sexy by all of these small gestures.

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